The Bottom Line
by sipsmeg
Summary: When Jane is found after jumping into the water, Maura realises how much she wants to be with her. Jane/Maura. Very smutty. Set during S05 E13.


**Disclaimer: Rizzoli &amp; Isles isn't mine. I just wrote this story.**

When Maura got back to the office, she let out a loud wail. Tears fell like waterfalls and she couldn't contain the pent up frustration brought on by seeing Jane again, alive. Everything she hoped for in those darkest hours came true.

She should have been elated. Instead she was angry.

Seeing Jane again only made her angrier. Maura had sunk her heart and soul into their friendship. She didn't exactly believe in soul mates; she believed in that special relationship they'd fought hard to maintain over the years. Watching Jane disappear in the direction of the Boston Harbour had broken her heart. The likelihood of her coming out alive, if at all, was too high. Miracles didn't happen. Scientifically, anomalies could occur, very small odds could be achieved or something entirely unexpected could happen. Jane's chance of survival diminished with every passing hour and unless she reached dry land, they could be searching forever and never find her.

She got lucky.

Maura couldn't forgive her so quickly as she could forgive the ocean for doing what it did all of the time. The ocean had no conscience, no rational thought process, no fight or flight impulses. Jane didn't think logically, or else she would never have jumped.

The office felt suddenly smaller. Maura sat at her desk, her head in her hands, as she brushed the oncoming stream of tears from her cheeks. She didn't want to cry any more tears for that woman, yet they just wouldn't stop. She realised now what she'd been avoiding all these years, how far her feelings for Jane really ran, and she didn't think she could hold them back any longer. When someone hurts you, your survival instincts kick in.

Maura didn't want to run from Jane, but she didn't want to hurt anymore either. Considering the insurmountable pain she felt over Jane's actions, perhaps it made it the perfect time to rock the boat further. If she was already hurting, already considering walking away, then maybe she could attempt to pull them back together in the only way that she wanted.

Telling the truth might damage the relationship beyond repair, or it could made it something even better. Maura was getting too old to sit on her hands and pretend that she wasn't feeling the loneliness. Her dream for as long as she could remember was marriage, a family. She didn't mind if that family included children or not, as long as she was with someone special enough. She already had a family, a family so connected to Jane that if they didn't take things in the direction she wanted, Maura worried that one day she would lose them too.

The only problem, and it wasn't a small one, was Jane.

She'd watched her over the years, tried to pinpoint exactly where Jane stood on the sexual spectrum. They didn't talk about it. Jane was, according to all evidence, a straight woman. As long as they had been friends she'd only ever dated, or slept with, men. There was the case at the lesbian bar, but she showed no inclination towards women. Then there was the way they pretended to be girlfriends to avoid Giovanni's prowess. It was a ruse. Except that when Jane pulled her close, or touched her the way a girlfriend does in public, it didn't feel like a ruse. Maura had lost count of the number of times Jane had touched her breasts. Or hung around in a state of undressed in front of her.

It was time to stop pretending. It was time to tell Jane the truth.

Just as soon as she got the inevitable call from Angela telling her that Jane was home from the hospital.

Later that day, when Angela called, Maura was sitting on her couch, at home, watching the evening news. The usual disappointments of the world - war, famine, random shootings - sent her already fragile mood into a downward spiral.

"I think she'd appreciate a visitor," said Angela after the usual pleasantries. Maura paused. This was the cue she'd been waiting for all day and now it had arrived her nerves settled in.

"I don't know if I'm ready," said Maura, before realising what she'd said.

Angela sighed. "You two have been friends for a long time, Maura. If you can forgive her for shooting your father, you can forgive her for almost getting herself killed."

"But I," Maura started to say, then trailed off. The words that followed were not meant to be told to Angela before her daughter.

Besides, as loving as Angela had been over the years, she was also Catholic. Though she accepted people for who they were, the same couldn't be said for people who didn't identify as inherently straight. She didn't necessarily judge those who were gay or lesbian, but when it came closer to home, Maura knew that the situation was more complex.

"Do you love her?" Angela asked, pulling the words right out of her mind. Though she doubted Angela meant it in quite the same way as Maura, she confirmed the assumption. "Then what she does shouldn't matter. As long as she doesn't beat you, or treat you bad, then friendship can overcome all hurdles. Otherwise, what's the point?"

She was right. Angela was nearly always right when it came to advice. Maura put it down to her life experience and promptly ended the call.

The drive over to Jane's apartment was plagued by red lights, to the point that Maura was probably going to receive a speed violation. Impatience didn't sit well with her in this situation. Besides, as Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Maura had to gain some privileges. If anyone asked she was on her way to an important case. Though it would hardly hold up in a court of law. Perhaps she could submit her reasoning in writing. She didn't much fancy another bought of hives.

The door opened on the third knock. Either Jane had been waiting for her, or she was already bored out of her mind. They say doctors make the worst patients, but they obviously hadn't met Jane Rizzoli.

"Come i…" Jane started to say before Maura held up a hand.

"I don't want you to say anything," Maura said the moment she caught Jane's eyes. "I need to say something and I need you to not speak until I'm done. Okay?"

Maura waited for agreement, but when none came, only a small smirk, Maura brushed it aside and continued.

"We've been friends for a long time, some might say more than friends. You're very special to me and what you did jumping off that bridge hurt me. It hurt me a great deal. I think I can forgive you though, but only because I can't imagine my life without you. The only problem is, can you live without me?"

"Maura," Jane began, but Maura cut her off.

"I'm not done." Maura paused. "Nearly losing you made me realise just how much I care about you, Jane. I love you. I think I've loved you for a long time, only I didn't realise how much."

"Can I speak now? Are you done?" Jane asked.

Maura trailed off. She thought it would be easier than this. She'd said what she needed to say and yet it still didn't feel done.

"I love you too, Maura," said Jane.

Maura shook her head. The way Jane spoke wasn't the way she felt, it was friendly, it wasn't the tone that Maura would expect from someone who was professing their love. Which only made her wonder how to tell a friend that your love for them isn't just friendly

"I'm not done," said Maura, abruptly. "It's not like that. You're not getting me."

"I get you, Maura. You're hurt. I hurt you."

"And I love you."

"I know."

"No, you don't know. I'm trying to explain to you how much I care and you're not understanding. Why do you never understand me when I'm talking to you?"

"Why do you always have to talk the way you do?" Maura could feel tears hovering on the surface. Jane's eyes softened and she smiled briefly. "Can you bottom line it for me?"

The bottom line. She thought she had. Maura stepped forwards into the apartment, forcing Jane backwards. She pushed the door closed behind them. If she was going to bottom line it, she needed more privacy.

"Okay," said Maura, stepping towards Jane before she had time to move out of the way, before she could lose her nerve. Her left hand landed on Jane's right hip, her right hand on the back of her neck and her lips pressed roughly against Jane's.

In that brief moment, Maura's heart stopped racing, her breath caught in the back of her throat and her left foot lifted ever so slightly off the ground. She could feel herself falling off balance when Jane's hands wrapped around her waist, holding her steady, her lips moved in response to Maura's. Her heart started racing, her breath still caught up in the moment, until Jane let go and Maura had to step back to keep herself from stumbling. She gasped, taking in oxygen where the absence had been, her finger moving up to her bottom lip. She wanted to speak; her lips only opened, then closed again.

"Oh," said Jane, putting some distance between them. Her brow creased. Maura wanted to know what was going through her mind. She'd reacted to the kiss, but whether that was voluntary or not was yet to be seen.

"I'm sorry," said Maura, lowering her gaze. "I needed you to know. If you don't want anything to do with me, I understand."

After a moment's silence, Maura turned around to leave. Sometimes silence spoke volumes and in this situation it said everything that it needed to say. She reached for the door handle.

"Maura," Jane's voice cracked in the way that it so often did. Disappointed. A lump formed in the back of Maura's throat and she wanted to let it go. Instead, she held it back and lowered her hand, turning to Jane.

Without saying another word, Jane closed the gap, her lips pressing against Maura's; the force made her step back filling the small space between herself and the door. Jane's lips skimmed her mouth, her hands pressed on either side of the door. Maura's heart stopped beating again as Jane's thigh landed abruptly between her legs, sending her body into overdrive. Every time she'd ever had sex melted away as her whole body reacted to Jane's fingers fighting with the zipper on her dress.

"No," she moaned, pushing Jane's hand along her back and under her dress. The feel of her fingertips tracing over her thighs made her knees grow weak. When Jane's finger reached her sodden panties Maura's knees gave way and she sunk to the floor. Jane's hand slipped away and Maura clawed at Jane to follow her, desperate for the sensation to continue. In the end Jane fell down beside her, laughing.

"What?" Maura asked, kneeling down and moving closer. "Are you going to make me beg you?"

"No," Jane said, sitting cross legged and smiling. "I don't know what I'm doing, Maura, I've never done this before."

"You think I have?"

"I don't know, have you?"

"No, Jane, I've never made love to a woman."

A thin layer of sweat covered Maura's body. She was ready. She'd waited long enough and now that her body was fighting the urge not to force her own hand into her panties, she was going to do something about it. Before she could move again, Jane reached out and pulled her towards her.

Jane's tongue slid into her mouth, meeting Maura's. She wrapped her arms around Maura's body and pulled her on top of her, her hand sliding back under Maura's dress. When her fingers hit the spot Maura felt her submission.

"Is this okay?" asked Jane. Maura could only nod. Jane rolled her onto her back and used the full force of her weight to push her fingers deep inside, her thumb teasing her playfully. Maura screamed out, pulling Jane's face towards her, kissing her lips, her neck, needing to touch her skin. The overwhelming urge to let go sent her mind into overdrive and she tugged at Jane's t-shirt. The fabric barely moved until she pulled harder and tugged it up and over the mounds of her breasts.

"Careful, you'll tear it," Jane said, her breathing laboured as she attempted to lift one arm for Maura to remove it. The task was impossible, though it didn't stop Maura from trying. She pulled and pulled until she could feel the material give a little.

"I'll buy you," Maura began but she couldn't carry on. She held Jane's t-shirt up and kissed the skin between her breasts. Skin she'd seen so many times before. It smelled so familiar. She pushed the fabric of Jane's black sports bra to one side, not caring to unbuckle it. The bra kept moving back up over her breasts, making the task all the harder until she sought out Jane's nipple. She reached her tongue out to her bear breast, wrapping her whole mouth around the sensitive skin, until Jane's fingers slipped from her.

"What," Maura mumbled, letting go of Jane's breast and lying flat against the floor.

"Wait a second," said Jane, pulled her t-shirt up and over her head, unbuckling her sports bra and sliding out of her sweats. She dropped them carelessly on the floor and lay on the couch in only her panties. Maura reached for the zip on her dress and wriggled out of it.

Her panties were soaked, her bra still on. The underwear didn't matter. The second she dropped her dress on the floor, Maura knelt on the couch, a knee on either side of Jane as their lips merging together. Maura pushed herself against Jane's body, desperate for relief. She kissed her again, tugging at her lips. She moved Jane's fingers back down to the most sensitive spot. As her elation grew once more she returned the favour, her hand slipping carefully between Jane's thighs, slow and easy steps until she couldn't do it any longer. Her heart raced along inside of her chest and she let out a guttural groan as she reached a high.

It was all too much. She lay there motionless against Jane's breast, fighting the urge to close her eyes. Jane rested her head back against the couch. Maura watched Jane's every expression as her fingers continued to tease the sensitive skin between Maura's legs. Her head lolled forwards, her hair tickling Jane's neck followed by brief touches of her lips.

"Thank you," said Maura between kisses, her breath not quite caught. She slid her hand down to Jane's left breast, cupping it in her hand. She lay with her head resting on Jane's shoulder. Things couldn't get much better.

Then a gentle mew from Jane made her lift her head. Maura glanced into Jane's eyes. She'd never heard anyone make such a noise, under any other circumstances it would have sounded ridiculous. Hearing it come out of Jane's mouth made Maura feel like everything she was doing made sense.

Her hand moved on Jane's breast and she made another sound. The tiredness dissipated. Her fingers circled her breast, then she cupped it again, leaning forward to allow her tongue to dance across the erect skin.

"Does that do it for you?" she asked, lifting her head briefly to check Jane's expression.

"God, yes," said Jane, lifting her butt up off the couch and forcing herself against Maura's thigh.

Her other hand slid down Jane's stomach, slowly teasing her as her fingers trailed across her body and down between her legs. With each gentle stroke Maura watched Jane's eyes roll back into their sockets, she moved back up to her face allowing her hand to do all of the work, lifting Jane to a point of pure satisfaction that only made Maura's body react in return. She enveloped her lips, nibbled them, stroking her hair back from her face as each movement made Jane's eyes flutter again. Maura reached her hand back up to Jane's mouth, sliding her moist finger along Jane's lips. The mixture of sweat and bodily fluids made Maura's head cloudy.

"More," said Jane, her voice barely audible.

She kissed her again, sliding her tongue into Jane's mouth, before trailing it along her collarbone, across her breasts and downwards until she could taste Jane's excitement for herself. Her tongue flicked back and forth whilst she cupped Jane's breasts, squeezing them gently in her palms as it sent Jane toppling over the edge.

After Jane relaxed under her, Maura moved back up towards Jane's mouth, her body pressed against Jane's, their legs tangled up together, their breasts rested against each other and Maura's lips embracing Jane's once more.

"I guess we should go to bed," said Jane, her croaky voice sending shivers through Maura's body.

"I don't think I can move," said Maura, resting her head on Jane's shoulder.

"Me neither," said Jane, wrapping her arms around Maura's back and closing her eyes. When Jane's breath grew even, Maura pulled the blanket on the back of the couch across them and allowed her own eyes to close.

Her doubts, her worries, her lack of forgiveness were all gone. Jane was still there, she'd had the best sex of her lifetime and she was in love with her favourite person in the world. Right then, nothing else mattered.


End file.
